Five Shassie Shorts
by Geekerific-1017
Summary: The title says it all. Five Shassie shorts based on five of my favorite songs. Contains slash meaning man on man lovin'. Nothing too strong really but if that's not your glass of pineapple juice, don't read.
1. Something In Your Mouth

**Okay so I'm posting this because it was requested by SpookyClaire who is friggin' geekerific. If you haven't read any of her work then get on it bitch because it's really awesome. Especially 'Only The Curious Have Something To Find'. Speaking of which, Spooky, please update! These shorts have been revised and edited and to anyone from LiveJournal who thinks they sound familiar…they are. That's where I first posted them.**

**Summary:** The title says it all. Just five Shassie shorts, or drabbles if you will. They're based on five of my favorite songs or the at the very least the titles of the songs. This is unbeta'd so all mistakes that lay within are my oopsie. Feel free to criticize the shit out of me.

**Disclaimer:**_** I do not own Psych or any of it's characters. This is purely for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of the Shassie fans around me. I am not profiting from this and no copyright infringement is intended. So please, do not sue me for I have no job and not a penny to my name.**_

_**-Squeedle**_

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**#1 Something In Your Mouth by Nickelback**

Carlton Lassiter downed his fourth scotch and sighed heavily. Why did he even agree to come this stupid club with them in the first place. Earlier that night, just after he dropped off the last of his paperwork with Chief Vick, Carlton found a certain pain in his ass sitting on his desk.

"Hey Lassie, since you're finished with all that boring paperwork how about you join me, Jules, and Gus for a little fun?"

Carlton glared at Shawn as he gathered up his things to leave. "How about no Spencer?"

He had just grabbed his keys and was headed towards the exit when Shawn latched onto him whining "Please Carly? Please, please, please, please, please-"

Carlton cringed and shouted "Sweet mother of justice Spencer! If I say yes will you shut that cavernous pie-hole of yours and let go of me?"

Shawn, who had previously clenched his eyes shut, opened them and nodded as he dragged Carlton to where Gus and Jules were waiting.

Carlton sat at the bar of Club Something-Or-Other trying to drown the headache that the all-too loud music was causing him when a loud round of cheers rang from the crowd. Carlton turned to find that the cause of the cheers were, unsurprisingly enough, Shawn and his dance partner. His male dance partner which, again, wasn't very much of a shock seeing as how Spencer had made it his goal to dance with everyone in the club, female and male.

Just as Carlton was about to turn back to yet another scotch he noticed something. Shawn had his thumb in his mouth. The bane of his existence was sucking on his thumb and Carlton, though loath to admit it, found it slightly arousing. A red tint crept up his face and as he downed his fifth scotch he blamed the slight bulge in his pants on the fact that he hadn't been laid in a while. Hell, he'd probably find an overweight, mole-ridden junkie arousing at this point.

Too wrapped up in his mental heterosexual freak out, Carlton paid no mind as someone pulled him out onto the dance floor. Until he felt said someone grinding their ass against his groin that is. He was just about to bitch the person out when he realized that the person was Shawn, still sucking on that damn thumb of his. His eyes traveled down Shawn's body until they came to where Shawn's left thumb was hooked into his jeans pulling them down ever so slightly. Carlton felt hypnotized as he stared at the small patch of exposed skin. The skin wasn't what had him starring though. No, it was the glimpse of the tattoo on Shawn's left hip that had him so mesmerized.

Needless to say, any vocal skills he might have had vanished completely and soon after, he found himself grinding back against the pseudo-psychic.

"That's the spirit Lassie! Though if you keep up the enthusiasm I can't be held responsible for my actions." Shawn shouted over the music, his thumb never once leaving his mouth.

Carlton leaned down pressing his lips against Shawn's ear and just said "Keep that thumb in your mouth and neither can I Spencer."

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**Okay, so there's the first one. Let me know how you feel about it…or not it's all good. Flamers are excepted. Actually, they're expected. I should be posting the next one in about a day or so because I have to rewrite it all seeing as how I never saved to a disc before my mom wiped out the computer Oh, and this might come out unerlined. If so I'm truely sorry.**

**Until next time homies,**

**-Squeedle**


	2. Poison

**Disclaimer: **_**Again, I do not own Psych or any of it's characters. If I did, it wouldn't be as popular as it is. I am not making a profit from this. It is strictly for fun.**_

**Okay, I'd just like to take the time to say that I'm truly sorry for the whole underlining thing. I didn't originally underline it but when I did a live preview on the first chapter most of it was underlined. I'm not sure how it happened but I've been trying to fix it. Apparently FF is being a major douche so I apologize. Anyway, hopefully this next short is better than the first.**

**-Squeedle**

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**2-Poison by Alice Cooper**

High in the VIP lounge of Toxic Kisses stood Carlton Lassiter and Juliet O'Hara. Around roughly 2AM that same morning the strip club's manager was found dead in his office. Carlton was crouching on the floor examining the crime scene when the door to the lounge burst open followed by a voice he really didn't want to hear.

"Lassie, Jules! The spirits insisted that my divine services were needed here at this fine establishment. Plus, Gus used to be a notorious stripper and he wanted to relive his glory days. He went by the name Chocolate Thunda"

Gus turned to glare at Shawn. "That was one time Shawn and I only did it because you blackmailed me into it!" Shawn just waved a dismissive hand at his bald friend.

"You made the right choice buddy. If you wouldn't have worked that fine chocolate body of yours for Gram-Gram and her canasta buddies you would've left me no choice but to show your parents that picture of you at Gino's New Years Eve party." Juliet rolled her eyes and Carlton fumed.

"Spencer, O'Hara and I are perfectly capable of handling this case alone. Therefore, your theatrics are not required so beat it." Carlton growled though Shawn just smirked and closed his eyes as he brought his right hand to his temple.

"Spencer…"

"I-I'm getting something Lassie." Shawn hissed as he pushed Lassiter into the nearest available chair and crawled onto his lap. Carlton lost all vocal skills as Shawn ground his hips, his lips brushing the detective's ear as he spoke with a sultry voice.

"One of the girls told me something interesting today baby."

Carlton bit back a groan and halfheartedly tried to push him off while Shawn just proceeded to kiss and nip at the detective's neck.

"She said that you called her to your office to…talk." Shawn wound his hand in Carlton's tie and yanked him as close as possible.

"You're not two-timing me, are you Frankie? You wouldn't do that to me right? Funny because she told me that you tried to teach her my tongue trick." He paused to lick the shell of Carlton's ear. "You know, that thing I do when I'm on my knees and I curl my tongue around your-"

"Shawn!" Gus and Jules shout simultaneously. Shawn shakes his head a couple times as he comes out of his 'vision' but he stays seated on Carlton's lap as he reveals the identity of the manager's killer.

Carlton, however, hears none of it. He's too busy trying to refrain from doing very naughty things to a certain pseudo-psychic in front of his colleagues. As Juliet and a few other officers leave to apprehend the suspect Shawn turns back to Lassiter and whispers "If you want me to show you that little tongue trick Lassie, stop by my place tonight."

Carlton only has one thought in mind as Shawn grinds his hips one last time before hopping off his lap and stalking towards the exit. Shawn Spencer is poison.

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**Okie shmokies, so there it is. Hopefully it was better than Something In Your Mouth. Again, I'm really sorry for the underlining thing. I know how annoying and irritating it is. I'll keep trying to fix it but I can't make any promises.**

**-Squeedle**


	3. I Wanna Know

**Alright, it's going to get a little fluffy for these next two shorts. Just figured I'd warn you guys. Oh, and I'd like to thank my reviewers;**

****SpookyClaire  
******Mahala A. C.  
******Snowglow  
******MerryMerry Q. Contrary  
******Peter**

**Disclaimer: I still do not own the awesomeness that is Psych.**

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**3-I Wanna Know by Joe**

In Shawn Spencer's eyes, Carlton Lassiter was flawless. He loved everything about the detective, especially his eyes. Carlton had the most mesmerizing icy-blue eyes that he'd ever seen and he's found himself in a hypnotic state because of them on multiple occasions. Then there was that voice, the voice that made his brain melt and turned his knees into Smucker's jelly. Those beautiful eyes and that brute voice had been invading Shawn's dreams for the past year and a half now. Not that he was complaining mind you but waking up to sticky sheets every morning was starting to get a little irritating and cold showers just aren't cutting it anymore.

Shawn debated telling Carlton about how he felt last year but the poor man was still going through his divorce and Shawn didn't want to add anything to the detective's already harrowing stress. Plus, Carlton was extremely irritable then and Shawn only blamed one person for it all.

Victoria.

That bitch. She didn't deserve him anyway. If she couldn't understand how much Carlton was worth then that was her loss. Shawn was sure that she never ever tried to make their marriage work. She would look at Carlton's attempts to get her back and scoff.

Before Shawn could think on the subject any longer though, long snapping fingers brought him back to the present.

"Spencer, for the fifth time now, what the hell are you doing in my apartment at three o'clock in the morning?!"

_Well, it's now or never_ Shawn thought as he cupped the back of Carlton's head and brought him down in a searing kiss. It was short but Shawn hoped he got his point across as he stared up at Carlton.

"I love you Lassie." Shawn whispered. "I'm not really sure how to go about all this because I don't think ever really been in love so this is kind of new to me. But I do know one thing; you make me want to try. I want to know you. I want to know everything about you. I want to know what makes you tick so I can be the one to make you shrug it off. I want to know what makes you cry so I be the one to make you smile. I want to be the only person you'll ever need to be happy. I want you."

Shawn took a deep breath and stepped back to give Carlton some space to think. A few moments passed and as he looked up into those unreadable blue eyes Shawn began to think he had just made a complete fool of himself.

Just as he was about to turn around and flee however Carlton pulled him close, his lips grazing Shawn's as he spoke.

"Took you long enough."

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**Okay, so there's part of the fluffy side to my Shassie. Hopefully it was okay. I'm sure it's pretty OOC so I'm sorry about that. Thoughts?**


	4. Must Be Doing Something Right

**4-Must Be Doing Something Right by Billy Currington**

One year. It's been exactly one year and Shawn still couldn't believe it.

"_Hey Lassie, I have a quick question for you. I'm going to be straightforward because that's what people do in this situation. They don't beat around the bush, you know? They just come out and say it, or in this case ask it and that's what I'm going to do because-"_

"_Spit it out Spencer!"_

"_You doing anything Friday night?"_

It's been one year and Shawn still couldn't believe that he hasn't messed it up yet. He's not complaining though, he loves Carlton more than pineapple upside-down cake and, for Shawn, that's saying something. He's just used to messing things up. He's used to disappointed looks. What he's not used to is waking up with strong arms wrapped around him every morning or loving kisses just because.

"_So Goose, how long have you guys been together?"_

"_A miracle record of five months, three weeks, and four days."_

Sometimes he wonders why Carlton hasn't just dropped him yet. He wonders why the handsome Irish detective is so different from all of his past partners. Maybe the thing that made _them_ leave is the thing that made _him_ stay. Maybe Carlton saw something in him that nobody else saw. Maybe…

"_What if he's just in this for the sex Gus?"_

"_Shawn, stop looking for excuses as to why he's still around and just accept the fact you've finally found love."_

"Shawn?" Carlton asks, pulling Shawn from his thoughts.

"I smell bacon, are thinking again?"

Shawn chuckles and lays his head on Carlton's shoulder.

"At least I don't look like a constipated monkey when I think." he retorts.

Carlton laughs and pulls him closer. "You're right, you just look like a constipated Sarah Jessica Parker."

"Touché."

"_I love you Carlton."_

"_I love you too Shawn."_

Well, one thing's for sure. He must be doing something right.


	5. Lollipop

**5-Lollipop by Framing Hanley**

Shawn immediately regretted telling Gus about his plan. He had barely finished divulging it to him when Gus brought out his famous 'I-Don't-Feel-Like-Getting-Shot-By-Lassiter' speech.

"Shawn, you can't just do that to an authority figure like Lassiter. He'll shoot you and then shoot me for accessory to stupidity. Blah, blah, blah"

God, that big lump of chocolatey goodness could rant for days given the opportunity. Shawn rolled his eyes.

"Come on Gus, don't be a poorly drawn heffalump. Lassie would never shoot us in a police station full of witnesses. That would cause unnecessary construction on his road to Chief and you know how he hates time consuming detours."

They headed out to the Psychmobile and Shawn smirked as he climbed into the passenger seat.

"Besides, it's just an innocent piece of candy."

Once they arrived at the police station Gus left to find Jules.

"I'm not going to be a witness to your idiocy Shawn. I've got a date with Juliet tonight and I'm not taking any chances."

Shawn just shrugged and went off in search of his favorite head detective.

"Afternoon Lassie." Shawn said as he sat down on the detective's desk and took the wrapping off of his Charms Blow Pop. Carlton tensed but he didn't look up from his work.

"What do you want Spencer? As you can see I'm busy so make it quick or better yet, go away."

"How many licks does take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop? And does it take the same amount of licks to get to the bubble gum center of a Blow Pop?"

Carlton looked up just in time to see Shawn suck the lollipop into his mouth. His eyes were glued to his lips as Shawn withdrew the candy from his mouth with an obscene 'pop'.

Shawn leaned towards Carlton and said "This is part where you say let's find out. One," Shawn drew his tongue around the lollipop.

"Two,"

Again.

"Three." After the third lick Shawn sucked the piece of candy back into his mouth and pulled it out with another loud 'pop' as Carlton squirmed in his chair and moved so that his desk hid his growing problem.

Shawn leaned even closer to Carlton and licked his lips deviously.

"I wonder how many licks it takes to get to the center of your lollipop Lassie." Shawn whispered and not-so-subtly glanced down at the detective's lap as he gave the lollipop one last agonizingly slow lick before walking away.

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_**Okay, so there they are. All five Shassie shorts. I'm never posting on FF again after this because FF is the seventh layer of hell. I'm going to be doing more shorts because they're just too damn fun but if you want to read them you're going to have to go to my LiveJournal. It's geekerific-1017 . live journal . Com**_

_**Just click on my homepage on my FF profile.**_

_**-Squeedle**_


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